Personal Development Archives

We will now briefly explore the Financial Environment. This environment includes money, budgeting, investments, earnings, spending and our relationship to the acquisition of wealth.

Although I listed it last, the most important part of the environment has to be our relationship to the acquisition of money. By that I mean, how we value our time and service as well as our attitudes towards acquiring wealth. Is it OK for us culturally to be wealthy? Like most inner mind things, if the answer to this one is that I am unworthy of having more money then I will lack that motivation to aggressively pursue money by not asking for raises or not raising prices.

Other strong influences in this environment are budgeting and investment planning and a good accounting system. Without these in place of with slipshod system, the chance of acquiring wealth to retire on is slim. In the short run, lack of financial management will increase the chances of short run financial drama in the form of late charges on credit cards, higher interests due to late payments and lots of calls we would rather not have.

As with all the environments, it is very good to question what if anything are we tolerating in relation to financial matters. Are we putting up with being paid less that we feel we are worth? Are we working for the money or do we really love our occupations?

There is an old saying, “Money does not bring you happiness, but it sure can make happiness more comfortable!” Paying attention to our financial environment will go a long way towards assuring a comfortably happy life.

If you have questions or comments, please post them in the comments section. I am looking forward to a lively discussion here on the blog.

Would you like to reprint this article? You can, as long as you publish the entire article and include this complete blurb with it: “Life Coach Jason Wittman publishes “My Coach Jason’s Tips for Winning at Life” monthly ezine. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, you can find more FREE tips, FREE subscription information, and how you can benefit by his coaching.

Environments – Part 5 Personal Self Environment

So far in our explorations of the Environments we have looked at the inner mind, the memetic, and the spiritual ones. This week we will look at the personal self environment. This one encompasses all the non-physical attributes of a person, such as personality, strengths and vulnerabilities, and talents.

I find that many of the clients that I work with, especially those who are working on enhancing their self-confidence and self-esteem have never taken the time to accurately inventory all these qualities that make them who they are. There are a lot of limiting beliefs that are associated with a person’s self concept. Many of them come from early childhood where they were teased or harassed about their physical attributes such as their height or lack thereof. It is not until they finally take as unbiased a look at themselves as a whole do can they stare to see where maybe they bought into someone else’s stupid, uninformed biases.

The first mission is to make a list of all the unique talents and strengths that you know you have. Look at your skills, your innate abilities, the qualities of you that others admire and love (if you don’t know, then ask the people closest to you what they admire and love about you). Only when you notice and accept all those attributes that make you the wonderful you that you are, can you fully develop a great self-concept.

As with all of these environments, it is important to become aware of what you are tolerating in your personal self environment. Are there traits that you have that you know are impeding your ability to reach your goals that you are putting up with rather than dealing with them? An example of that might be the habit of never letting others finish what they are saying before you respond which is losing you valuable associates.

When you have thoroughly explored this environment you ought to be able to have a good idea of who you are, know that you are worthy of other people’s love and support and have a good feeling of your potential to succeed in your life.

If you have questions or comments, please post them in the comments section after this post. I am looking forward to a lively discussion here on the blog.

Would you like to reprint this article? You can, as long as you publish the entire article and include this complete blurb with it: “Life Coach Jason Wittman publishes “My Coach Jason’s Tips for Winning at Life” monthly ezine. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, you can find more FREE tips, FREE subscription information, and how you can benefit by his coaching

Environments – Part 3 – The Memetic Environment

This week we will explore the second environment, the memetic one. This is a very strange word for a very important one. The memetic environment encompasses all the information and information that we are regularly exposed to. All of the media, all our on-line browsing, the cultural messages we grew up with, the newspapers we read, the TV shows and movies we watch, the advertising we see, read and hear, the books we read, all influence the way we perceive our world.  The more we are exposed to the same messages the more they permeate into what our inner mind recognizes as being normal and natural.  When that happens it becomes part of our belief system and when that happens we will operate off of those beliefs without question, even when if we ever did question them we would realize how they we negatively effecting our behavioral choices. In my world we call those beliefs, “limiting beliefs.”

As a life and mentor coach, much of what I do is assist my clients to explore their beliefs to uncover which of those are actually limiting beliefs.  For most people, it really takes someone like me asking those, “Is that really going to achieve the outcomes you desire?” type questions, for them to finally recognize their limiting beliefs.

As with all these environments we are exploring, the overriding reason to study them is to become aware of what they are and how much influence they can have on our lives. Once we are aware we can protect ourselves from their negative influences. With memetic ones, we have to set up filters to screen out negative informational inputs from everything we read, see and hear.  Even without the assistance of a life coach it is possible to uncover many limiting beliefs by questioning how well the things we accept as the way things are, fit into our fundamental core belief system.  We can also explore how well what we believe is congruent with what information we are exposing ourselves to.

If you have questions or comments, please post them in the comments section after each post. I am looking forward to a lively discussion on-line on the blog.

Would you like to reprint this article? You can, as long as you publish the entire article and include this complete blurb with it: “Life Coach Jason Wittman publishes “My Coach Jason’s Tips for Winning at Life” monthly ezine. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, you can find more FREE tips, FREE subscription information, and how you can benefit by his coaching at http://MyCoachJason.com

Environments – Part 2 – The Inner Environment

Today’s discussion is about the first and most important of the environment in which we live. It is the inner mind one, our thinking process including the way we think about ourselves, our self-esteem and self-confidence. We get clues about this by listening to our self talk. Do we have a “can do” or a “no can do” approach to how we walk through the challenges of living?

There is an interesting on-line discussion that Tony Robbins had with two other multi-millionaire self-help gurus that focused directly on this environment. They were discussing a phenomenon that they had regularly observed. A good percentage of the people who buy their fairly high priced, self-help DVD courses, never even open the box. Tony offered an explanation that I am sure is correct. He said that their inner environment, aka their unconscious programming tells them that it does not matter what they try to do, they are losers and it won’t work. What happens is that they get very enthused by the sales pitch but by the time the program arrives, their old programming and its self-talk mantra of “It ain’t going to work, so why bother!” is in full swing and the goes in the closet alongside all the variety of other self-help programs and devices, like abs building machines, they bought and never used.

There are many ways changing negative inner environmental programs, hypnotherapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), self-hypnosis, repetition while acting “as if.” All of them work to varying degrees and speed. The reason they work is due to the principle that the inner mind (aka, the unconscious) will automatically do whatever it understands is normal and natural. If the accumulated traumas and disappointments of an unsuccessful life have it understanding that losing is normal and natural, it will support negative thinking. The good news is that through the use of one of those methods I listed above, the inner mind can become convinced that winning is normal and natural and when that happens, it will produce behaviors that are conducive to winning.

We hypnotherapists have known this for ages. We say, “What the inner mind imagines, it tends to realize.” This is the gist of “The Secret.” It has never been a secret to us. I just saved you some good money. You don’t have to buy the movie or the book, now. Put that money to better use and invest in a good self-hypnosis, self-confidence program or if your inner thinking is very negative, the services of a good hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner or a life coach (or me who is trained in all the above) who can teach you this stuff and coach you through it. Once the inner mind environment becomes supportive of your goals, everything is possible.

Would you like to reprint this article? You can, as long as you publish the entire article and include this complete blurb with it: “Life Coach Jason Wittman publishes “My Coach Jason’s Tips for Winning at Life” monthly ezine. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, you can find more FREE tips, FREE subscription information, and how you can benefit by his coaching athttp://MyCoachJason.com

Here we are at Resolution Time again! This is the time of the year when we ritualistically take stock of the year almost over, to assess our accomplishments and make resolutions for the coming year. Too often we find that the new resolutions we are making for the coming year have a deja vu feeling about them because they very closely resemble last year’s resolutions that were never done. That is a very depressing way to start a new year! If you can relate to this, here is a proven method to ensure that a year from now you will be celebrating your winning year.

The usual way of dealing with resolutions is in terms of goals and goal fulfillment. That is a set up for failure. Unfortunately a list of goals or resolutions is little more that a list of dreams and wishes. The problem with dreams and wishes is that they are usually made with the unconscious idea that they will be completed via a magical cure or miraculous fulfillment of them. They must because rarely when folks make a list of resolutions and goals to accomplish do they attach to them the concrete steps needed to take them to completion and they are destined to failure.

I propose a new way of making your resolutions this year. I propose that you adopt the sports metaphor and view each resolution as a possible winnable game worth playing. Let’s look at them the same way you would look at a resolution or desire to win in a sport or a game of mental or physical skill — baseball, for example. Here are the steps necessary to win at the game of baseball (assuming you never played but resolve to do so):

a.                          You would first question if the resolve and desire was strong enough to give you the energy and stick-to-it-ness to persevere through the process of learning and acquiring the skills to win. Do you want to play the game because of an inner fascination with it or are you doing so because it will satisfy someone else’s desire for you to play the game. If it is the latter, your chances of learning and winning are slim. Even if you do win, it would be a hollow one and looking back, wouldn’t seem like it was worth the effort.

b.                          Assuming that you really, really have a strong desire to learn and win, the next important step is to decide what part of the game, what position, you want to specialize in. To do that you might have to try out all the positions to get a feel for which ones you have a natural aptitude and as important, which ones you enjoy playing the most.

c.                          Having figured out the position, such as “pitcher,” you then need to acquire the skills of the game.

d.                         It is very important, at this point to make sure to work through all your inner game issues and conflicts (“I never was too good at sports”) that might sabotage your best intentions.

e.                          Next comes getting the proper equipment and joining a team.

f.                           And finally, continuing to evaluate how you are doing and what more needs to be done, learned or practiced to get to the win at the game of pitching in a baseball game.

Did I leave something out of this scenario?  Would you ever think you would be able to effectively accomplish all that planning, learning the skills, practicing and evaluating the progress of becoming a winning baseball pitcher without having a coach? Not likely! Sure, you probably could arrive at the skill and knowledge needed to win, given much time and experimentation, but are you willing to spend years rediscovering what’s already known? If you are willing to do that, that’s playing a different game, the game of reinventing the wheel. With sports, having a coach is an accepted part of the equation of winning. Most champion sporting figures, as well as champions in all walks of life have coaches.

The 9 Steps to Win the Resolutions Game

So now looking at your new New Year’s Resolutions from the same perspective as we just did for winning at sports, here are the 9 steps to playing your resolutions to win this year:

  1. List your Resolutions in terms of winning a game, using the following format: “I want to win at the game of __________( doubling my income, cleaning out the garage, etc.) by __________(a specific date) and answer the following questions about each one you just wrote:
  2. Is this game winnable?
  3. Did you give yourself enough time to realistically accomplish it?
  4. Assuming it is winnable, is this game worth playing? Will winning this game be important to you? Do you really want to or need to win this one? Is it winnable but really someone else’s game that would be worth THEIR PLAYING? Is it worth it for you to play it for them? Answering “no” to these questions are indicators of non-starters or, at most, winnable games (resolutions) begrudgingly played and not a prescription for having fun. Having fun is the real reason for playing and living, isn’t it?
  5. Do you have the skills and resources to accomplish the resolution? If not, you need to alter the finish date to have enough time to get your act together? What are the steps you need to do to accomplish and win this game?
  6. Are there any parts inside you that are either subtly or screamingly suggesting that either you can’t win at this game or you ought not even attempt this one? Until you address their concerns and satisfy them, they will sabotage your best efforts and create failure.
  7. Do you have all the tools, working space, equipment and positive support of friends, family and/or business associates you might need to win this one?
  8. As you progress towards the final end date of the game, how are you going to know how well you are progressing and what more do you need to do to end up with a win?   In other words, how are you going to keep score of your progress and make the required mid-course corrections?
  9. Would it be helpful to have a coach that could co-create with you, and when needed guide and teach the necessary skills, to have this be a winnable game worth playing? (Hint: Probably!)  Having a coach IS the winner’s edge!

Working this process with each of the items on your list of Resolutions will allow you to weed out the ones that are just hope-for-things, other people’s hope-you-do-for-them-things, and the not-realistic-to-win-at-things. That will leave you with a list of winnable games (aka resolutions) AND a plan for winning them. This will ensure that next year at this time you won’t just be celebrating a New Year. You will be celebrating the successful conclusion of a Winning Season of Your Life! (Your coach will be celebrating too, because he only wins when you win.)

Would you like to reprint this article? You can, as long as you publish the entire article and include this complete blurb with it: "Life Coach Jason Wittman publishes "My Coach Jason’s Tips for Winning at Life" monthly ezine. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, you can find more FREE tips, FREE subscription information, and how you can benefit by his coaching at http://MyCoachJason.com "

The Benefits of Personal Writing

I was dragged into doing personal writing kicking and screaming all the way. Many years ago, I had a mentor with whom I would meet to talk about what was going on in my life. He was someone that I called upon to assist me to sort out my current concerns. When I would poise a problem I was having to him, he would usually reply by asking me if I had written about the problem. My reply would be no and I just wanted to talk to him about it. This became the regular verbal dance we did every time we spoke until one day when he answered my question with, "I’ll tell you what, I am not going to discuss this with you until you go home and write about it!" No amount of protestations would get him to budge. I was more than quite peeved, to say the least. (Actually, since this is the PG version, I won’t say what I said.)

On the way home, I stopped at my neighborhood stationary store and bought on of those 6"x9" spiral notebooks and a ball point pen and went home (still fuming) and wrote out my problem. For some reason, once I wrote out the problem the solution became quite obvious. He was right; the first step to problem solving is writing it out. I have been writing ever since. Twenty years and many filled notebooks later, I still have a spiral notebook with a pen sitting in the spiral, tucked into my mattress so I can write in it, in bed, before I retire every night.

I journal the events of the day, my feelings about those events and my feelings at that moment about me and the other cast members in that play called "my life." It is a real taking stock type of exercise. It is an automatic writing exercise. What my mind is thinking my hand is writing. My conscious mind is an idle observer of this process. Spelling and grammar are of little importance. I do not erase or blot out anything. If something needs correcting because it was the wrong word it gets a single line through it and the pen moves on. Since I started doing this type of writing, I have found that I get to sleep faster because my mind no longer replays the day and my feelings, over and over again. For some reason, once it goes down on the paper, my mind can let go of the thought. Also, I notice that if I wrote down some problem that was of concern to me, I usually wake up with the answer. Doing this writing on a daily basis keeps me constantly in tough with my progress on the projects I am doing, allows me to fine tune the game plans to make winning more of a possibility and keeps me in touch with feelings so that there is less chance that my judgment will be clouded by them. My strong suggestion would be to put doing nightly writing high on your "to do" list.

Two months ago I started participation in a workshop that follows the suggestions of "The Artist’s Way" by Julia Cameron. The book’s first suggestion is to write three full-sized notebook pages first thing every morning. She calls this "the Morning Pages." It is also a train-of-thought, automatic writing exercise. The difference between this one and my night time writing is that this is not intended to be a journal. It has no parameters and no boundaries. It is a vehicle for creativity to abound. It can be anything the mind wants to produce; writing, poetry, drawing, whatever. The only caveat is that it must be three pages and it ought to be the first thing of the day. I am finding that when I am finished writing my mind is fully engaged and I am totally ready to take on the rest of the day. Prior to doing these Morning Papers, it was maybe noon before my mind was up to speed. Quite a difference! This writing requires more preplanning of schedules than the night writing because it takes me about an hour in the morning. I am now going to bed an hour earlier so that I can do the writing without pushing my day an hour back. That is a total revolution for this former night person which in itself is a testament to the benefits of writing the Morning Papers. By the way, both this article and the Communications Skill article flowed out of my pen and onto the "Morning Pages," an effortless and highly creative way of writing. Write On!

© 2007, Jason Wittman

Would you like to reprint this article? You can, as long as you publish the entire article and include this complete blurb with it: "Life Coach Jason Wittman publishes ‘My Coach Jason’s Tips for Winning at Life’ monthly ezine. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, you can find more FREE tips, FREE subscription information, and how you can benefit by his coaching at http://MyCoachJason.com "

  
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