Jason Wittman Life & Mentor Coaching
Websites:
http://MyCoachJason.com http://TheParentsCoach.com
323-850-8005

Vol. II, Issue 2
March 8, 2010

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Dear Reader,

Welcome to this issue of the Tips on Winning at Life ezine.   A lot has been happening in my world. Years ago on National Public Radio there was a show called “I'm too busy to talk right now!”  It was interviews with people over 65 that were leading busy, interesting lives at a time when most folks would be in retirement.  If the show was still going, I could qualify as in interviewee. In addition to my life coaching private practice, I have been acting, playing percussion in a band, facilitating drum circles, working on the planning committee for a large men's gathering in Southern  California, and doing fine art and commercial photography. Other than that, I haven't been busy at all.  As I found out by writing this ezine, busy isn't always the prescription for ultimate happiness.

When I started writing this ezine, I thought that I would just be presenting this idea of just “going for it,” regardless of the fears. The big secret to being able to play full-out in one's life is to put all fears aside and just go for it, whatever “it” is.  Nike's slogan, “Just Do It!” is right on.  As I wrote, I realized that I have been living my life by that principle. I started out in life being very unsure of myself, so I had to do for me, first, what I now teach and coach my clients, how to become self-confident and then to be able to walk through fear.  For the guy who struggled through a public speaking class in college, I now have fun going to auditions and performing.

Because I use the automatic writing technique, called “Morning Pages,” I not always end up with an article that resembles my original intention.  My unconscious, freed of the restraints of the conscious mind, usually delivers way beyond my original intent.  That is exactly what happened this time.

With all of that activity, I have found that even with all the fun I have been having doing all the things I am doing, something seemed out of balance.  The article on playing full out and just going for it morphed into a self-analysis of why all that doings of mind didn't seem to be enough.  The conclusions I reached as well as my novel solution to the problem I uncovered, is laid out in the article, “I'm Bored!”  The solution has some uncertainty and fear attached to it.  I am doing what I have learned to do.  I am going for it!  I invite you to read the article, if for no other reason than part of the solution includes an amazing opportunity for you, my current and future clients.

I am changing email services.

I have decided to change the service I use to send out these ezines. Because the new service uses an opt-in verification system to protect itself and me from charges of spamming, once I import my email list, with your name on it, you will be getting an email from GetResponse.com asking you to confirm your subscription. Please follow their instructions so that you can continue to receive these ezines.

Being Proud Vs. Having Respect

I wrote the original version of this concept of substituting the word “respect” for that of “proud” on my blog for parents of teens. Upon reflection, I feel this is a more universal concept that applies to all communication between people of all ages. As English is spoken, when we want to compliment someone on an achievement of theirs, we usually say, “I’m proud of you for…X…”  For some reason, that form of a compliment has always seemed a bit hollow to me. Recently, a coaching friend suggested a better way of expressing the same sentiment.
It is way more effective when offering a complement to use, "I really respect you for …X…" rather than the usual, "I am very proud of you."  It amazes me that ever though both of those phrases have the same intention behind them, they have such a different effect on the listener. The difference seems to stem from the implication of each phrase. "You make me so proud," is about how the listener’s behavior or accomplishment affects the speaker’s feelings. How it shines well on the speaker and his accomplishment of being a great parent, boss or friend. Other than any good feelings tor doing something to give the speaker good feelings, there is little in that statement for the listener.
"I respect you for …." on the other hand, is all about the listener. It is saying, "I truly acknowledge you and what you did or accomplished." Now that is something to really feel good about!

Would you like to reprint this article? You can, as long as you
publish the entire article and include this complete blurb with
it: "Life Coach Jason Wittman publishes "My Coach Jason's Tips
for Winning at Life" monthly ezine. If you're ready to
jump-start your life, you can find more FREE tips, FREE
subscription information, and how you can benefit by his
coaching at http://MyCoachJason.com "

How My Being Bored Becomes a Win-Win for You and Me.

Stuart Emory, a mentor of mine years ago, used to say that boredom was nature’s message to split. For a self-actualizing character, such as me, what that means is that being bored produces a psychic enzyme that gets the creative juices going to reinvent me, what I am doing, or anything other than continuing to do what I am currently doing. Boredom is the result of a lack of stimulating activity. Just playing well and even playing a winning game is not enough.

I have written that to be happy in business and life, one needs to play winning games that are worth playing. I am beginning to realize that for folks like me, just playing well and winning at what I like, want to do and think is worth doing, is not enough. Let me give you a real life example: As a life coach, I know I am playing a winnable game that is definitely worth playing. I am making a comfortable living and I derive great joy watching my clients grow and move on to places in their lives that they would never even allow themselves to dream about because they didn't believe they could ever get there. So why am I bored?

I went to bed last night asking me that question. As you know from my previous writings, I do train of consciousness, automatic writing before I retire every night. Not only did I ask that question, I also asked myself why had I, who is normally the personification of serenity, become increasingly agitated to the point of becoming obstinately uncooperative with people I love.  I had earlier even taken out my frustrations on an innocent inanimate object -- I demolished a brand new plastic file box that had the misfortune of being in the wrong place and the wrong time.

I woke up this morning with an answer, which is what happens when I ask the unconscious a question and give it the time to figure it out while I sleep. The answer was “yes,” I am playing a very winnable game that is worth playing but… it is not a big enough game to keep me from being bored. I have been doing exactly what the business gurus suggest. I maintain a client load that makes me a decent living and gives me a lot of time to do other things. I'm taking lots of beautiful photographs, I am doing some acting, I am playing percussion in a band and having fun doing all this. The problem is that all those things are nice, wonderful and fun to do but they are not where my passion lies.

I came out of the womb counseling, coaching and teaching. In the office of my former youth program hung a sign, “This is not a job, it's a calling!” I am most happy when I am teaching clients new and more fulfilling ways of living their lives and then coaching them as they practice those skills. I am bored because that successful business model gets me to a nice income with a smaller client load. For most coaches that would be ideal but for me it means I am not spending much time each week doing what I love to do.  No wonder I am bored.

So why am I telling you all this. First because it is a great lesson in paying attention to oneself and questioning why incongruous behavior is occurring. More important, though, I want to share with you my solution to my boredom problem. I am making a radical change in the way I am structuring my business. Specifically, I am changing the way I bill for my services. I spent most of my professional life working in non-profit youth programs. We never turned someone away because they couldn't afford the services. In my private practice, I have continued to provide coaching on a sliding scale, but I have noticed that rarely am I asked for a lesser rate. I know that there are folks that really could use my coaching but have a hard time asking for a break. I know because I have had a hard time doing just that. So here is my solution to all of the above.

My new pricing structure is I no longer have a pricing structure! From now on, my clients will set my fees. You decide what my couching is worth to you and what you can afford to pay and then click the PayPal button on my website and pay that amount. I trust that you will take care of me in the same heart-felt way that I am coaching you. I am OK with whatever you do, whether it is $25 or the $200/hour that I have been charging up to now, just as long as you pay. The only rule is that you must pay something. This setup will only work if everyone does their share.

I believe my solution benefits everyone, a truly win-win proposition. You keep my phone ringing so I am doing a lot of what I love to do and you get the coaching you want and need at a rate that does not break your bank. How great is that?  I would suggest, though, that if you would like to take advantage of this pricing structure and get the coaching you always wanted, you do not procrastinate. I expect that it won’t take very long for my calendar to be filled up and I am going to have to start a waiting list.

Let the experiment begin.

©2010, Jason Wittman

Would you like to reprint this article? You can, as long as you
publish the entire article and include this complete blurb with
it: "Life Coach Jason Wittman publishes "My Coach Jason's Tips
for Winning at Life" monthly ezine. If you're ready to
jump-start your life, you can find more FREE tips, FREE
subscription information, and how you can benefit by his
coaching at http://MyCoachJason.com "

The Playing Life Full-Out Roundtable!
A New Weekly Tele-Gathering

I am exploring starting an on-going free roundtable discussion via a tele-conference cthat will focusprimarily on the areas of Inner Game issues of getting certaintyand confidence in one's abilities to play full-out in both
business and life. It would be free and start soon if there is an interest.
It will be not so much coaching as part tele-class, part Q&A and part mutual discussion on pertinant topics, with laser coaching when its called for.

To sign up for this Roundtable, just fill in the form below and push the "Submit" button. I will notify you when the group starts.

Announcing my new pricing structure, there isn't any!!!

As I explained in the "I'm Bored" article above, from now on my pricing structure is you set the price. You figure out what you think my coaching is worth to you and realisticly what of that amount you can afford and go to my PayPal account and pay that amount. Whether you pay $25 or my former hourly rate of $200 is less important to me than you call and get the coaching you need. Call me at 323-850-8005 or email me to book a time. I would do it sooner than later because once my schedule is full, there will be a waiting list.